yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
