I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize