Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He better not be in your backpack
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
