woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
