I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
