And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
