man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
