lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Terrible idea I love it
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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