oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Randomize
