Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
