My first STD was from a foam party
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
