whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
