Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
