Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize