we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize