i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize