Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
