he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
