As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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