hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
