Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
