you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
