I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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