what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
