i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
