Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
