ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
