On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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