And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
it's like heaven, but drunker
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
