And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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