Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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