Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize