Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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