that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize