If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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