I just saw a hot homeless man
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize