went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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