you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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