herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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