forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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