Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
