i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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