just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
