Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
