Betty ford says i'm here all night
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
