I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
