ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
