no, he came in my armpit
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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