dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
