I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
