It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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