Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
