Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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