you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
