He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
