Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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