Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
