he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize