I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
