i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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