I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
